A Goodbye Letter

It is a lie for me to say that I am not tired of these “Open Letter to…” blog posts, but here I am starting my blogging career with one because I feel like there is no good way to say goodbye to people.

Source: giphy.com

I don’t hate goodbyes. I actually enjoy getting to say goodbye to things/habits/people because it means I’m either headed somewhere better or they are. If I were to get teary eyed every time I said goodbye to people, I would have cried a small lake by now. Since leaving school this past week, I’ve had to say goodbye to a lot of people, and by a lot I mean like 10, which is a lot for me. And I had to say goodbye to these 10 people because I graduated from college and I’m moving out of the country for the foreseeable future (read "forever and ever"). I will, of course, miss my friends immensely, but this is how life works. Just because we are apart does not mean that we can no longer be friends. Sure it means no going to the HUB for lunch or China Garden for dinner, but this does mean late night Skype calls and group text messages and new experiences to share.

From the left-Vivian, Ne-C, Me, Johna, and Kertney

As I sit and reminisce on what lead me to this revelation, I must admit that I do hate saying goodbye to one person, but after Wednesday, I won’t I have to do that anymore because I will be with him. The first time I had to seriously say goodbye to Ben was on December 18th, 2015. We were only going to be separated for three days (oh, the agony!), but this was the first time we were going to be an ocean apart. I bawled like a child who had lost their favourite toy in the Heathrow Airport. It was so incredibly hard to say goodbye because of the uncertainty our relationship. Yes, we wanted to make this last (and we most certainly have), but in the moment, the ocean that was about to separate us was ripping my heart apart. I have since cried in several airports because of him, and hopefully Wednesday will be the last time I cry in an airport.

Aren't we adorable?

I realised in August 2015, that sometimes when you say goodbye, it isn’t really goodbye. When I said goodbye to my family before my semester abroad in London, I wasn’t sad. (Just as I predict I won’t be sad on Tuesday when I say goodbye to them again.) It didn’t feel like goodbye at all. It felt more like a see you tomorrow because, well, I did see them the next day, thanks to the wonders of the Internet. You can’t say goodbye to family completely, which I think is one reason I do not get super emotional about it the prospects of leaving them. Sure my mom will cry and my dad will hug me extra tight, but it isn’t forever. I’ll be texting my parents the next day, and I will set up a weekly time to Skype call them, but I’m not upset about this new arrangement we will have.

As I move on to bigger and better things in life, I want people to know that I am not sad about leaving or scared for the future. I don’t regret the decisions that I have made or the action plan I have set forth for my life. I am excited to be moving forward. I have a lot of growing up to do and there is much living to be done.

My advice to anyone who is moving out or moving away is to think of the adventure you are embarking on. You only have one life to live, don’t weigh yourself down with regrets and fears. Everything will work out in the best way possible, even if you can’t see it now.

So here is my goodbye letter to all the people I am leaving behind in the US.

Mom, Dad, and Emily, I can’t wait for you to come and visit!

Grandpa, I will make sure that when you are with my parents, you get to hear from me.

Kertney, Vivian, Johna, Ne-C, being in school with you all for the past three years has been great. I know you will do great things. Don’t let the group text die!